Hi petal, hope your doing as well as you can! I know it’s been challenging; recently, the world has been wild! I don’t know about you, but I feel like I haven’t caught a break. Every time I win, it feels like the world steps on me. I know that’s a familiar feeling for a lot of people. With how things have been with the economy, personal problems, work problems, and even the world’s problems, it’s hard to get motivation.
I’ve honestly been feeling super lost myself; I have so many emotions from so many different things. It’s become hard to seriously organize myself. I’ve been scared of not being able to succeed, and it caused me not to want to try. One of the biggest causes of procrastination, at least for me, is the thought of failing or not doing good enough. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try; I’m trying to teach myself anything worth doing is okay half-fast as long as I do it. I can fix it later.
That’s not where I’m starting though. First, I need to kick this depressive episode in the ass. This post will walk you through the steps I will attempt to get it moving! Cause I don’t know about you, but Im ready to start fighting this slump and get motivated!
Focus on systems instead of goals
This is a big one for me and especially for people who are overly hard on themselves. It takes the focus from the end of the game (which, more often than not, is quite a distance) to the process and progress of the game. It helps keep the motivation up!
The book atomic habits (great read, very clear, very informational) talks about how in order to stay motivated with habits, you have to have a win. You can apply that to a lot of life!
Your body is not gonna wanna do something it dreads to get nothing in return! When the focus is on the end, you miss out on the little wins you get in the process. Goals, especially big ones, rely on little steps and little habits to get to the big picture. This frame of mind can help keep anxiety down by taking the pressure of the future and turning it into motivation for the moment. This process is what you might call a system.
A system is breaking down the goal into small manageable tasks that you can do consistently. It’s making the pill easier to swallow by remembering to drink water. It’s the process of setting yourself up for success.
Of course, goals are amazing, but you need to acknowledge yourself for trying, and it gets hard to do that when you are constantly beating yourself up for not being there yet! You’ll get there; just focus on the process.
challenge
I want you to think about a goal you have, big or small. Then I want you to write down all the steps; every step completed is an accomplishment. Think of how many tasks like this you have and just be proud for a second of how many accomplishments you have.
If that doesn’t get you moving, break the task down further!
Making tasks more manageable!
A lot of the time when I’m lacking motivation it’s because the task and errands feel really big, and I don’t know where to start! So I am teaching myself to make it easier to do! If it’s cleaning my room, I’ll say, “For now, I’ll pick up the clothes! “ or “We’ll just start with the trash.” Doing this makes me feel like there are fewer things than there are.
When I have bigger tasks, I delegate them to myself. I’ll say stuff like, “I’ll start here” or “Let’s do this, then take a break.” When you do too much at once, especially in a depressive episode, it’s easy to experience burnout. This makes it hard to do again later. Don’t be afraid to break it up into smaller, more bite-size pieces. Just start, even if you have to “half-fast” it! “Something worth doing is worth doing poorly.” Re-read that highlighted part but slower. The important part is trying! You might not be there yet, but, you’ll get there!
I don’t remember where I read this, but the hardest part is often just starting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll dread cleaning up, feeling like I’ll never have the energy to do this.
The post said to set a timer for a short amount of time, maybe 5 minutes, and commit to it. After that timer is up, you can stop. Like, drop whatever you’re doing immediately! What ended up happening for me was, after I had already focused as hard as I did for 5 minutes, I was like, “ might as well finish the rest.” And if I’m still not feeling it, at least I started! And I can be happy about that. If you can’t do 5, do 2 minutes! It’s about getting up and moving and then celebrating that you can at least do something, even if it is small. Those small wins matter too!
Challenge
I want you to think of a chore you have to do and set a 2-5 minute timer. Work until the timer goes off (longer if you feel like it), and then treat yourself. It can be small or big, but reward yourself for that win!
I noticed rewarding yourself for even what be small wins be making life a little more fun, more livable. That’s not the only way to spice life up though.
Romanticize life
This one may sound outlandish, but I like to think of it as treating your life like a movie. A main character may look at a basic cup of coffee and be like, “I love love love this drink,” drink it and think it’s the best coffee ever had. It’s about putting on your favorite song while you cook or waking up and saying today is special. It’s living like your the shit because you are (even when you don’t feel like it).
Romanticizing life, especially for me, looks like finding the small things to be “overly” appreciated or excited about. I find it brings beauty to a world that has recently been dull. And if you can’t find the beauty, make it beautiful! There is a lot of beauty in the everyday things you do or see, but sometimes you forget because this is something you see every day. You don’t want to allow that to turn those beautiful moments you used to enjoy into something without value.
Turn your regular showers into a spa day, even if that’s just changing the words and mindset behind it. Have concerts in your bedroom, and do main character shit! You’re writing YOUR story. Some might think romanticizing life is probably easier with money, but it is budget-friendly.
Something that I get incredibly frustrated with is driving; sitting in one place with unpredictable people be stress. I make those times my concerts and personal time to listen and scream my heart out. I give my best main character energy, so it feels fun. It becomes something I want to do.
The goal is to make the most mundane things special. The world makes it really easy to point out all the ugly and to see all the bad! But there is a lot of beauty here! Sometimes it’s easy and in your face; other times, it’s covered and muddy, but lotus flowers grow in the muckiest water. And I’d argue lotus flowers are one of the most beautiful flowers ever!
challenge
I want you guys to think of one mundane or boring thing and brainstorm a way to make it a little more enjoyable. Tell me how it went for you in the comments.
You can control some of your reality, but figuring out which parts you can warp into beauty can be tricky. That’s why it can be important to get those thoughts organized on some paper.
Shadow work/ journaling
For those who don’t know what shadow work is, it’s the process of learning to accept and acknowledge your shadow self (the parts of yourself might deem as “ugly”). You do that by digging deep into the things that trigger you and why they might trigger you. I’ll dig a little deeper into it in a separate post; there are a lot of different things to cover.
Shadow/ journaling affects motivation by creating an understanding. Being able to see the simple problems of everyday life on paper can often open room for solutions. Once I have a clear idea of what to do, it makes me actually wanna do it! I noticed a lot of my stress comes from not knowing what’s wrong with me, and with stress comes exhaustion, and with exhaustion comes a lack of motivation. That type of cause-and-effect process rings true for many emotions you and I feel.
Shadow work and even just regular journaling are effective for drawing out those effects to emotional responses, which are most things in your life! Some of the things shadow work helped me with is releasing a lot of anger. Not only was I able to get my feelings out, I also identified that my anger came from a need for power. When I was younger, it felt like people didn’t really hear or pay attention to me until I was loud or upset. This, of course, transferred into my adult life as being an angry person as a whole. Without shadow work, I may not have become aware of the problem and fixed it.
The first step to almost anything is knowing “what.” When you take the time to write about the feelings and events, it can give understanding. And once you have that understanding, you can start looking for a solution. You can do these same types of steps in a video or audio recording. The goal is to make the most challenging things easier and more enjoyable so you do them. Break that shit down!
challenge
In line with the rest of this post, the challenge prompt will be: What is something you’ve been trying to gain motivation for but can’t. Dig further by answering the following: Is this a task or goal something you struggle with often? Identify the parts you struggle with most and ask how can I make this task easier. Having an answer to start on a solution can be a huge help.
Of course, these methods might not resonate with you, and that’s okay! It’s about trying new things to learn what will work for you. These are things that I’m just willing to try.
Nothing though is an overnight fix, and it is improbable that once you get motivated, you’ll be inspired for life. You’re going to have low days where you won’t want to do anything; you just want to sit there. Being unmotivated sometimes is okay; you are human! What’s not okay is using that as an excuse to never try. You are a very capable person, and it will be wildly fucking hard some days, but that’s when you need to push yourself to stand up, and if you need crutches or rail, use them. But try to stand up!
challenge
i know i threw alot at you guys today so this week I just want you to focus and do one and the next week do another. Don’t rush yourself, just get started!
Be safeee by my petals!